Monthly Archives: August 2014

In The Temple of Isis

Initiator-1

Image Credit: 13 Moon Oracle, Ariel Spilsbury

In the dark of the night…I stand barefoot at the gate of the temple to see Isis….rather to be seen by Her…Old memories visit my consciousness… How many times have I died here, leaving my body in my fierce search for Truth when my physical form and mind could not hold the Truth of me….How many times She turned me away…How many nights I waited in front of Her temple to be let in…. Will She let me in this time? As I get permission to enter in I walk steadily the familiar hallway… determined…I walk slowly, consciously as though I want to gather my strength and focus. The walls and the floor emanate electrifying purple lightnings that come in and out of existence. One can see them only when fully present in Here and Now. They challenge, bringing up the remnants of fears and doubts, delusions and illusions. The walk through the long hallway to the chambers of Isis is the second initiation after being let in. 

I arrive at yet another gate to Her chambers….silence….infinity….then the door opens just by itself, I enter in. Isis in all Her Might, Power, and with Her fierce eyes appears in front of me as if out of thin air. She knows me, She knows me well. Her presence gives me strength this time…I can barely see Her face in the dim light but I can clearly see Her eyes…Her laser-like eyes on me….While she is scanning my consciousness for the least deviation from Truth I become aware of fears, illusions, delusions, distortions my consciousness was holding on to… I am determined this time, I will not back away, I will not shy away from Her and from Her gaze… in trust I surrender to the Truth…to the One Simple Truth…I watch everything and anything that is not Truth just vanish into thin air…

Facing the fear of Being who I Truly Am now….Looking at it in all its seize, shape and color…while Isis is piercing through my eyes right into my Soul…Her face without any sign of compassion nor judgment…Simply looking through me illuminating what is not Truth…or rather illuminating the Truth that makes everything visible that is not Truth….that is not me….bare naked…no compromise…I look at the fear of my own vastness, of my own Beauty and Glory that would destroy me…Is that true? Can being me, fully, truly me really destroy me? How so? While holding Isis’ gaze I hold the question in my consciousness silently…Can Truth destroy me? It sure could destroy my physical form as it did so many times… It can hurt…Can it? It can make me suffer? Yet none of those thoughts can hold in the Light of Truth Isis is holding for me…all of them just fade away and away and away…All questions, all answers, everything the mind was holding as real just die out like the remnants of a Beltane fire at dawn…until all there is… is space…I stand in Her presence…She is not done with me yet. She stays with me in the empty space, still scanning my consciousness, my body, my soul….and she finds fear that bubbles up in my being…the fear of stepping into the Unknown…into the Vastness of my Being…the mind has never experienced it before so it is afraid…resistant and reluctant. Isis looks at me and almost asking me without any sign of emotion, compassion or judgment, in simple Truth She IS. I feel enormous power inside coming from my root, from my belly, I am ready to die if that is what it takes. My desire for Truth and Freedom is bigger than my fear to die. Didn’t I die before and am I not here standing in front of Her again? So I hold the tension of Her steady gaze and let Her see my determination, my decision. After moments that feel like eternity She releases me from Her gaze and motions to the innermost Initiation Chamber… Her seeming lack of compassion gives me strength, Her seeming lack of sympathy expands my being, Her holding high the Light of Truth leads the way…I am ready… I don’t care what it takes, I want to KNOW the Truth about myself…Know it…BE it….Embody it…Whatever it takes…I don’t care if I am going to die or or start Living…really Living…The doors open….and I enter in….

In the innermost initiation chamber where nothing but Truth is allowed to be and anything else is destroyed…I enter in….realizing that the inner initiation chamber is even more ethereal than the rest of the temple, almost in the Void and beyond any form. It is made of pure consciousness that holds only the Essence, the Truth… of me…the “me” expands and expands and when I think I cannot expand anymore the space around me expands taking me with it…. I become limitless…infinite…my physical body, my life, the planet, the solar system, the universe I am incarnated in become so minute, not more than a speck of dust…the fear of dying becomes so minute… Here I am alone, all-one with myself…There is nobody else, it is all me…the Truth of me…Void, Pure Creator Consciousness…Space…Infinite Space that creates itself expanding onto itself…ever becoming… ever dissolving into pure space again…This only seems to be Truth, I cannot hold any other thought here, they just disappear into the empty Space of black, living, breathing, pulsing Void…I expand even more into the space that is me and smile…This Truth, I think to myself, I shall just carry into each particle in this creation….Here I AM…Pure Consciousness….

Copyright © 2014, Viola Glück
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